The Desperation I Feel
I don’t think I’ve cried so much these last few days. My symptoms have been more aggressive than I’ve been experiencing of late. I can’t handle it, I can’t tolerate it anymore. It’s just one vicious circle.
I haven’t felt the symptoms as bad as this for quite a while. My mood has been bad, I feel angry and upset to the point I can’t stop the tears. The pain has been bad, deep inside my body. There has been no let-up in the symptoms for days. It’s an awful existence. Symptoms can flare up pretty quickly and they can be very aggressive. I fear things going back to the dark days where I suffered intolerable symptoms on a daily basis, day in day out and there wasn’t much respite in between. This thought really scares me. It’s difficult to explain to you but I know the feeling/the symptoms/the patterns and I dread the thought of this happening.
And my Anxiety has become so much worse since this has happened aswell I can tolerate my Anxiety but this problem is making it worse.
And I do get a lot more aggressive I have noticed this is all unfair I need to get rid of this thing whatever it may be.
What are your symptoms, apart from the depression and anxiety you mention?
You're not alone.
Diarrhea - Sometimes would be loose and watery but most of the time just soft it can also have a really foul smell and sometimes come out a sandy color almost yellow. And I have seen a few unusual things in it
but I don't know if it's undigested food because most of the stuff in there I have never eaten. Also seen about 2 Tiny white specs and something lodged in one of them. I think I may be seeing tiny bits of blood or red particles in my stool also but not so concerned as I don't have Hemmies or anything.
Nausea - It practically is overwhelming and constant and feels like I'm going to throw up.
Flatulence - This one comes as big sudden explosions and it's constant it can also smell of sulfur and it can also be warm and bubbly.
Tenderness in Stomach - When you press on my Stomach and Lower it hurts really bad and it gets very tense.
Fecal Incontinence - I have had that for a little while but that problem is solved and out of the way thank goodness for that.
Stomach Noises - It's not your average run of the mill I'm hungry feed me stomach noises it's more like I don't like whatever this is that's bothering me.
Loud Bowel Noises - Those ones are notorious because it can become quite loud and disruptive and I can feel this constant rumbling all through my Intestines that go all the way to my Rectum.
Mucus in stools - I have only had that twice but the second time I got it nothing came out but just plain mucus. I call these Mucus attacks when they happen because the only thing
that would come out is mucus but I would also get it when I pass stool.
Loss of Appetite - When I get Nauseous I tend to stop eating and lose my appetite very easily.
Increase in Appetite - This one has been happening a lot lately no matter how much I would eat I just want more and more I could out eat my brother now and he is a big guy.
Unusual Cravings - This is another one that's been happening a lot normally the cravings would be for Sugar and Starchy and also Junky foods foods that Parasites love.
Bloody Sputum - This only happened once I spat out what seemed like a jelly like substance and it had blood in it. It was very thick mucus.
Headaches - The good news is I don't get that much but on the rare occassion that I do it would feel like a hammer pounding in my head. I am starting to have these a lot more now.
Malaise - People I have been around say I look very pale and sickly. Mainly because I'm Anemic.
Weight Loss - People also say I have lost a tremendous amount of weight. I actually have been losing a lot of weight as of late which the suspect would
definitely be a Tapeworm.
Anemia - I have been Anemic because of the issue with my periods but that's cleared up now but I feel I'm becoming Anemic all over again. This is mainly a mystery for
my doctors as I eat tons of red meat and I'm on the pill for my period so I don't really get my period every month.
Fatigue - I would just be tired all the time and would constantly feel like falling asleep and also wouldn't be able to really function at all.
Muscle Soreness - Yes I do get sore muscles a lot but this isn't normal. It's very terrible now I feel like I can't move at all.
Pinching feeling - I get this pinching type feeling in my Intestines that also goes down to my Rectum and it feels like there is something in there biting me.
Would definitely be a big worm biting into me.
Slithery feeling - Not only that but I feel like something is moving in my intestines and it's not the movement of gas because that's more a bubbly and sudden feeling. It's most definitely
the movement of a big worm I also get kicking and poking in different parts of my intestines and the movement happens a lot when I eat things that it does or doesn't like and it can also
stop moving aswell tricking me into thinking it's not there.
Anxiety - I have been suffering with this all of my life but I have noticed a big increase in my Anxiety. Parasites can secrete toxins that affect your nervous system resulting in things like
this especially if your already suffering from Anxiety.
Depression - I just started to get this. As above Parasites secrete toxins resulting in this.
Rashes and Eczema - I only experienced this while in Colorado for a Ski holiday first time I have been in really high altitude but that probably has nothing to do with this
what so ever. I have never really had this ever even in high altitudes which means my worms had a play in this.
Unclear thinking - I sometimes have forgetfulness and everything associated with that. Yes a lot of those sort of symptoms associated with brain acitivity.
Dizziness - It get's quite weird and unusual. And it's definitely more noticable now.
Heart Palpitations - I have been getting this so much and my heart would be beating harder aswell.
Uncontrollable Anger - Sometimes I would go on these outrages when I really don't want to I have become quite aggressive :(.
Flu like symptoms - Nasal Congestion and Runny noses and those sort of things.
Itchiness - It can go all over my body but mostly in my ears, nose, lady parts and my bottom (Anus) And also all over my body and my eyes. I have noticed an increase
in the itching especially in the bottom.
Burning in Stomach - I feel like my Stomach is going on fire sometimes this is especially true when I need to go to the toilet. But it's because the Parasites are busy burrowing
their little toxic fangs in my Stomach.
Coldsore - I think I may be getting a coldsore because I have a sore on my lip that never has been there it started yesterday. It turns out it was a different sore that I got not a cold sore.
Muscle Twitching - It goes through my entire body it can sometimes be one twitch then go onto a different part of the body and
sometimes it can have a twitch attack that goes on for a few seconds or so on other parts. This would be due to a defiecency I reckon.
Vommitting - I had one lovely episode when I was on holidays it was so terrible.
Weakness - I feel like I'm just wasting away pretty much.
Joint Pain - Some of the time I will get really bad pains in my knees and elbows and my back and neck.
Abdominal Pain - Yes I have a lot of general abdominal pain and pain and spasms in the intestines.
Fever - I think I'm starting to get fevers but I'm not entirely sure but I do get awful chills when I get the flare ups.
Turns out I do get fevers.
Bloating - Oh boy I look like I'm pregnant not a good look for an underweight girl.
Dry Skin - My skin looks a little bit scaly and they feel dry.
Dry Hair - My hair can go from dry to very oily.
Brittle Hair - I can see where the ends are splitting and also breaking off.
Hair Loss - I'm losing so much here it's not funny I can run my fingers through my hair and have a bunch in my hand.
Mood Swings - My mood has been very unreal since this has happened I would be angry one minute then the next I would be crying.
Nervousness - I do get this one a lot but it has become quite frequent.
Restlessness - This one I hate I really do.
Drooling While Asleep - I would wake up with gobs of drool coming out and my pillow wet with drool.
Disturbed Sleep - I hate this one aswell I would wake up at all different times of the night and just be like go back to sleep.
Muscle Cramping - I have been having this one quite a bit and it really hurts.
Pain in the Navel - This one I truly hate because it would pretty much cause a flare up.
Pains in my back, thighs and shoulders - It would be a pretty distinct pain it could be arthritic or dull and crampy.
Excessive Saliva - I would have enough Saliva to fill a cup.
Respiratory Problems - My Asthma has been playing up again.
Body Odor - My body odor is so strong smelling it is so bad I would probably have to go through a million roll on deodarants.
Dark Circles Under Eyes - This one is very bad and noticable.
Insomnia - Doesn't really need an explanation but I'm not liking it one bit.
Gastritis - This one is only mild and doesn't really cause me any problems.
Colon Polyps - I have had 1 removed but it would definitely not be cancerous.
Blood in Stool - I'm starting to notice some blood in my stools and it isn't food or Hemmies or Fissures.
I also suffer from Nocturnal Diarrhea that keeps me up all night in the bathroom I hate it and the shocking symptoms that accompany it doesn't help.
My immune system would probably be stuffed up to so I will need to get that one checked out aswell.
I'm also thinking that I definitely have a few Vitamin and Mineral Defieciencies and Malabsorption problems that I will need to get tested for most definitely. Tapeworm would be the big clue here.
And also I'm wanting to get the blood tests for my White blood cells (Eosinphils) to see if they are high and also my Immunogloblin checked to see if it's low and a few other things that I
Would like have done. Then I'm going into more stool testing from somewhere like Metametrix or somewhere I can find in Australia.
It’s been a struggle but I’m doing a heck of a lot better. I actually feel I have my life back!
You certainly have one heck of a list of symptoms! My goodness!
What you list, in so much detail, most definitely something is going on. Your list is uncanny, I can relate to many that you mention.
You certainly appear to have a lot going on with regards to your health.
I do hope and pray that all your testing goes well and that you get some answers. I know how difficult it can be.
I will write you an email.
Do keep us posted.
It is a big list and sometimes it continues to grow as I get more symptoms this becomes a nightmare when someone has to deal with something like this :(.
I will definitely keep in contact and keep you updated on everything best of health to you xoxo .
As always, I thank everyone who leaves a comment at my blog. I have to say though this is a first for me where I don’t like the tone of a comment. But.., with respect, you are entitled to your opinion.
With regards to MY experience and MY symptoms over the years, what I experienced was intolerable. Before 2003, (and yes, that’s when it all started for me), I generally kept in good health, I rarely felt ill, apart from the odd chest infection or flu bug over my life time, (just like everyone else), that’s about all I had to contend with. (Also severe endometriosis which WAS diagnosed through my own doctor - a very painful condition!). But I won’t go into that.
I’m writing about MY experience and MY life over the years and I can tell you I wouldn’t wish anyone to go through what I've went through, hence why I wrote my blog.
Nor have I ever been a hyphochondriac when it comes to my health. Previous to 2003, I was very rarely at my doctors. But then that’s when it all changed for me. Please do not make the assumption that my physical symptoms that I endured were in my head.
As for Chloe, I can't speak for her. But she is obviously looking for help and understands what I've been through.
Again, thank you for your comment.
I do apologise if I offended you.
If I can explain… when I first read your comment, I did read it as sort of a rant. Reading comments and interpretting exactly what a person means/comes across can be difficult at times.
My reasoning – your first line says “Right you guys are definitely doing something wrong...”
You guys…" ?
"...doing something wrong.." ?
You then mention that a flat-sharer said she’s got a form of worms/parasite and that you all need to get it sorted. You say you went to the doctor and said you needed some type of treatment and that you received antibiotics and you were sent on your way. I read that part of your comment like you make it sound so simple in receiving help. For me, it was never like that. If only.
Then you mentioned Chloe, who left a comment regarding her symptoms saying she was perhaps reading too much into them. You say “If you think somethings wrong you'll start noticing things you wouldn't have usually.” I interpretted your comment as perceiving Chloe as hypochondrial, and also myself. Although you didn't say this, I felt that’s what was implied, when I first read it. I’ve read it again, and I apologise as I misinterpreted what you said, you didn’t say that, you were talking about yourself ie., you say "I could tell you 10 different things I'm feeling just sat here on my bed now. I also suffer from panic and anxiety disorder and have found that worrying about different illnesses etc doesn't help it! And actually just adds to the problem. If you think somethings wrong you'll start noticing things you wouldn't have usually."
I also noticed you had a lot of ‘!’ marks in your comment. ??
Perhaps I was too defensive so I apologise but I have, over the years, been accused that my symptoms were in my head, physical symptoms and that’s hard to take.
I had countless doctor appointments over the years, which got me nowhere. I’ve seen private practitioners too (alternative practitioners, kinesiology, scio, colonics etc). They all found parasites/worms in me. After my rhr lab tests, I finally showed my doctor my micrographs which he appeared to be impressed with which, in turn, he had me referred to Infectious Disease but even that got me nowhere. My GP obviously thought my private results were enough for a referral but after the referral it's outwith my GP's hands. The Infectious Disease Specialist did not rely on these results at all.
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